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Most of the things that we do in life are based on instinct, emotional decisions and funny enough we end up being really proud of them. Like in my case, the fact that I quit my (highly paid) IT consultant job in Paris to move back to Romania without having a plan.
I know all of us have things we are proud of, and things we regret we haven’t done.
This is also the topic of this article. Getting in a bit more details in why do we take on some challenges while we say no to others even if we know they might have the potential to get us to a totally new level and the decision making process behind.
First of all we need to understand that the decision making is a pretty simple process which actually takes a lot less time than we might think.
You might think that change takes time. Well I would like to offer you another perspective on this.I would rather say, change and decision making is done instantly but progress, action and information accumulation takes time.
Now let me explain that.
We’ve probably heard cases where people say: “Ohhh, it took me so long to make this change”, or “It was so hard to start”. I honestly think and proved to myself that is only BS, because it only takes one second to decide you are going to do something and start doing it. However there is a time gap between that decision making moment and the moment you start putting that decision in practice and because most of us allow ourselves to “take some time to breath and think about it” we loose momentum and we end up not taking action, so you end up with no decision at all, just an affirmation. Now, in case you don’t already know, let me remind you this:
Repetition is the mother of learning and the father of action which makes it the architect of accomplishment.– Zig Ziglar
Now we have this pattern of taking decision and not following through with them and guess what happens to our brain. Exactly, he starts thinking that is normal. So he will never support you in taking that first step. And the really bad thing about all of this, is that we end up thinking that we are incapable and have all sorts of internal conversations convincing ourselves that we are no good enough and that we are not supposed to do something, bla bla bla.
Now here is another interesting idea:
Decisions shape our destiny. – Tony Robbins
That is very very powerful, because we all know that decisions shape our destiny. I am sure you are aware that during your life you took a decision, that got you where you are. Now, would you have done something else or take a different decision and you wouldn’t have been where you are today, having the relationship you have today, the car, the house, etc.
Another very important fact is that, it is impossible to always make the good decisions.
A lot of people don’t have the guts to take the tough decision cause they want to make the right decision so they make no decision, which in itself is a decision. – Tony Robbins
Now I wouldn’t like to live my life knowing something like that, and I suppose neither would you. So the secret behind decision making is to get really good at it. That can be accomplished through daily practice, so that your brain gets used to it. It doesn’t necessarily mean we have to take tough decisions every day. Start small. Decide on what thing that you though about doing for a long time but never found the energy or the time to do it, even if you know it would bring a lot of benefits in your life. Decide to start now and make the first step NOW. It might be going to the gym, or planning a vacation. Doesn’t really matter. The idea is to make the first step. I am certain you have already heard this before, so many times that you don’t even think is that important anymore. Well in case you think that way, it’s crucial to understand that your brain has already accepted the fact that you don’t need to take action, which is VERY DANGEROUS. Just think about it for a second.
Now, I would like to go a bit further on the decision making process and try to understand how we take decisions.
At any given moment in time the decisions we take are based on the amount of information we have about that specific area in our life. So if we have a lot of experience and information it’s easy to take a decision, while if we don’t it’s get really hard.
But do you see the vicious circle there?
Decisions are based on experience and information, which themselves are based on actions, but then again actions are just the consequence of our decisions. So now you understand while this is so difficult some times.
So how do we brake this circle?
Well the idea is to start taking decisions without necessarily thinking if it’s good or bad. Now you might say that is simply foolish and that it is impossible to do that and I agree on a certain level. However, let me remind you that our brain is able of doing things we are not consciously aware of. At any given time it accesses the relevant memories and information and send signals to your body. It’s called: the gut. That inner feeling that something is good or bad without knowing why. Then there is the other perspective that we just tackled that we will not always take the good decisions. I call try process trial and error and we need to understand that no successful person got where he is today without doing this.
I could just go on and on on this subject, but I guess it’s time to take a decision. And mine is to stop here and ask you:
Do you have any hard decisions to take right now in your life?
How much longer are you going to postpone it and why exactly?
In the end let me also remind you that we are not alone in this world and that it is perfectly normal to ask for help and it is awesome to have somebody offering help when you feel you need it. So I am offering to help you get better in taking your decisions.
Simply drop me a message by email or through the contact form with the decision you are struggling with, and I will do my best to answer as quick as possible.
Yours truly VM.
